6.21pm 19/05/2009 on my clock..
I m experiencing something which in my own terms have named them unusual. I m blank at the same time filled with n number of emotions and each emotion wanting to express itself in the form of thought, and I can experience a bottle neck of thoughts wanting to be penned down on paper, so that the conscious me can realize what body, soul and subconscious mind wants to say.
Pardon me for the unsorted order of thoughts but plotting everything as it comes to me; may be I can categorize the thoughts , few thoughts talk about the spiritual me and some thoughts talk about the world around me …(distracted)
What is this world ??? I am asking myself…(whether I like this question or not…but such type of questions had always been lingering in my mind)..
At times there are such wonderful insights that it seems I’ve found all the answers to every question, but I am not able to hold that frame of mind to keep myself enlightened throughout. It’s a very tough ask to maintain a mental balance and control one’s thoughts to an extent that one gains control on oneself as whole.
What am I?
Why am I here?
If I am here then why is it a task altogether to identify one’s purpose of life and understanding the real goal of coming into this world?
Its said that every problem comes with a solution and that no lock is designed without keys?
So if Life is what I m given with then life itself will give me answers, provided I look for them and I have the vision to identify them.
The above note was written on the evening before my grand mother passed away. The feeling of discomfort was gripping me, I had no idea that I would loose my granny in few hours. I do not know what made me write the above note, but I wanted to share it with someone. I was thinking about the distant worlds and the world that we stay in, the connection among them and why do people experience so much pain in their transition from this physical world to the worlds elsewhere. I guess, I am thinking too much; to which my parents and elders point out from time to time. But old habits die hard, hence if not for the outer worlds , atleast for the world that I live in, I need to understand what , why , how and when of this world. So here I m searching for answers about myself, life and my purpose of existence. After a lot of surfing, reading some books, interacting with people, even through the hints on life from the text messages this is what I can conclude.
“ Just like in a video game a player selects his weapons before hand, so do we before we are born, we select all the pains in all their forms as we want, select our strengths and weaknesses . Once we are born here, we are driven by situations which are already scripted ‘ hence we say, everything is pre-written’ , however we humans are given the freedom of thought and actions ‘hence people say our destiny is in our own hands’ and both are equally true. If a person is aware about himself, he certainly knows what to do when, n hence becomes master of his destiny irrespective of the situations he faces; thereby he controls the situation than situation controlling him. On the other side, if a person is not aware of him, he falls prey to situations and allows himself to be driven by situation. In any case our deeds matter a lot, if we have good deeds to our credit we have better resources at hand, if not then it’s the other way round. Each and every person’s life is an inter-related event, and their outcomes do affect each other. So if you do anything it’s going to affect people around you, depending on our action, the effect may be big or small, good or bad, but there will be some vibes that will be projected. So all the people out there, including me need to ensure we should try and spread as much love, care, affection and positive energy as we can; not just towards people around us, but towards animals, plants and environment on the whole.
Also, to every wish that we make, the almighty will never give us those things. Instead he will give us an opportunity to get those things for ourselves. Like say if you ask for love he won’t give you the feeling of love, he will send a person in your life and give you the opportunity to experience love. If you ask for a big house he won’t give you the big house, rather he’ll give you the opportunity to be able to buy a big house. To every wish that we have, mere intent is enough to get you started, grab the opportunity before hand and see your dreams come true.”
Deep within I feel that whatever I have come across so far has been very enlightening and there’s so much more to come. At times it’s more like a fairytale, but even if things aren’t that way I would love to stay in my own world of fairy tales. There are still so many questions that are left unanswered and some many things to be known. As and when I come across anything will post it right then. Till then have a great time. GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!
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